Life is kind of in the gutter, but I am optimistic about the future...I mean, at least I have a husband who acts like this. It is distracting, which has proven to be quite helpful as of lately. My Grandma Shill had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago and is now under the care of Hospice at one of their facilities. This has been a very trying time for my family because we love her very much and want to keep her around:) Even though we have her with us for now, I can't help but think of the things I will miss about Grandma. I am going to miss her "Death Grip," she had a difficult time letting go of us kids when we went to hug her. I am going to miss walking into her room to say a quick "hello" and finding her sitting in her chair, reading, and watching the birds out of her window. I'm going to miss being able to ask her about flowers, any flower, and having her know everything and anything about it. I'm going to miss her nonjudgmental way and goodness. I have always been one to hold a grudge, not proud of it... I blame my mom. I inherited that trait from her. Anywho, my Grandma Shill is so forgiving of others and NEVER holds a grudge. I'm glad that I have had the opportunity to learn from someone like her and I still hope that she will get to come home soon...
*INTERMISSION*
Before Grandma began to be cared for by Hospice, she was in the ICU for over a week. I went to visit her along with the rest of my family/extended family regularly. While I was there, I was reminded why I wanted to be a nurse in the first place. Although I was sad to be there under those circumstances, I realized that my current job was not right for me. Needless to say, I felt that I needed to quit. So I did... I am unemployed....there I said it. UNEMPLOYED! Am I crazy? Maybe, because jobs are hard to come by, especially for a new grad like myself. However, I went with my gut on this one. Sometimes you just know when something is wrong for you and life has a weird way of letting you know. I hope that I will be able to find a supportive environment to work in that is also a good fit for me. I love nursing and want to be working so badly. This was not part of my plan, I wanted to stay at my first nursing job for several years and I am very disappointed with how it turned out. However, you can choose to sulk, or you can choose to learn from the past. I am learning from the past, taking all that I have gained from this experience, and moving forward. Anybody work on a floor where they would be interested in hiring a relatively new graduate? Please let me know. So, back to the job search, I hope that I will find something that will add happiness to my life.
17 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about your grandma! My prayers go out to you and your family. And sorry to hear about your job... You know what is best for you and I admire you for recognizing what you needed to do. Good luck with the new job searching.
That was a sweet post about grandma, well great grandma to me! It made me sad when you were talking about her death grip... bc we would always laugh about how she would hold our hand and never let go. It seemed like the whole visit with her I'd be standing by her while she tightly held my hand. I haven't visited her yet at hospice but went a few times to the hospital, and now I realize I miss her death grip! I hope she gets better! She is amazing! I hope you find a job! Good luck!
good for you! im sure it was so hard to quit but not alot of people would have done it even if they felt it was right... good luck on the new job search and im so glad i can blog staulk you now!! :)
I know how you feel about Grandma.. When I heard the news, I was so speechless that I had to go home from work because I basically couldn't function that day. About Death Grip... I will always miss and never forget that... ALso, her stories about her experiences.
Jarom
Oh my, losing someone is so very hard. I am so sorry.
I am really impressed with you ability to follow your heart even when it doesn't seem like the right thing to do. I have such a hard time listening to promptings when they don't make sense to me. I am sure that the lord will guild you, and that you will look back on this decision and be proud.
Also, it isn't too late to plant a garden. You just need to go and buy plants that are already growing, and just skip the seeds. We just planted on Saturday...so if you do it this weekend or next then you should be fine.
What a sweet post, I love Grandma Shill what a kind and loving and giving person she is, she has been a great example to all of us, she is a strong women, I can't help but feel what a great reunion it will be on the otherside with Grandpa waiting for her with open arms and I think she is looking forward to that when that day comes. Don't hold grudges they are not good for our sole and just leave canquering sores that are hard to heel, you are a great person and you will make a great nurse you will get that job that you want and thats best for you, hang in there.. It was fun to get so see you again at the hospital..
Sorry about your grammy. Its the worst to see people you love grow old, I'm not cut out for it. What kind of nursing job are you looking for? I know you will find something because things always have a way of working out with time.
Soulmate,
I am looking for a position that is more multisystem related. I love floors that have heart monitoring and patients with any issues related to the heart. With that said, I would enjoy a general medical-surgical or trauma unit too.
Sorry your grandma isnt doing well. I found a job and then I went into interview and it was really wierd but I moved onto another contact I had and this hospital may be starting a new grad program! I am supposed to hear back Monday so I will let you know and find out who you should contact as well. Good luck. Finding a new grad position right now seems so impossible!
I really am so sorry about your grandma; we went through something similar with my Granny and it was sudden and really hard on the family. As for the job, happiness is more important than being employeed. If it wasn't right, learn from it and move forward. I love ya Jean dawg and hope to see ya real soon!
jeannie,
Does these songs happen to be off the cd that was created by me, to you, along time ago?
If so. I am Amazing.
Hey Jeannie, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother's condition. I wasn't ever one of her caregivers while she was in the hospital but I did see the rest of your family. I hope your dad told you I said hello.
Good luck with the job hunt. I'm sure you will find something that is more of a better fit.
Anna from 10th st.
Jeans :) I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma. Both of my Grandma's aren't doing too well either. It's hard. So, I feel for you girl! As far as your nursing job goes- Are you just wanting to transfer to another area? I thought you completely QUIT!!!! Then, I read further. ha I miss you <3
Monica, I did totally quit that job. I checked to see if any other units were hiring that I would be interested in, and no luck.
Anna, it is so crazy that the last time my Grandma was in the hospital you were there too! My Dad told me he saw you. I would have come to your unit to say "hi" but she was transfered to Hospice before I got a chance.
I've been so sad about grandma. Many sleepless nights. She is quite a trooper though! We'll be in town this weekend and I hope to see her then, if she is up to it. I'm sure the job thing will all work out. Good luck!
I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. You can really feel how much you love her in your post. I wish you the best days with her.
I am also happy to know that you have decided to follow your gut! You deserve to have a job where you go everyday and love it! Good for you! the Lord will provide!
I am so sorry to hear about your grandma! My prayers go out to you and your family. Also, sorry about your job situation. I was in the same boat, but instead of me quitting, I got laid off.... what a bummer! Good luck finding a job... If you need a friend during the day let me know... :)
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