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My name is Jeannie. I am a Mommy/Wife by day and a Registered Nurse by night.

8.05.2009

Psych Consult STAT

WARNING: After working six, twelve-hour night shifts in a row, you may experience swollen kankles, nausea, donut binging, and hallucinations.
The featured photo was taken for the single purpose of documentation for my much needed psych consult.

So, get this...
I am sitting on my couch...exhausted....when all of a sudden I see a call light and jump up like someone lit a fire under my cheeks.

Hold....up...this isn't a hospital. I think I just hallucinated.
*See glare on upper right mirror for details*
I'd like to say "this is the first time...." but it's not. Two summers ago, Jason and I drove up to Idaho with his family...through the night...yeah... I didn't think it was a good idea either. Winding roads can start to feel like you are in a cradle after a while...

So I'm cruising along in my Saturn Ion, when all of a sudden I see approximately five giant elk on the side of the road. "Hallelujer, at least they aren't in the road..." I silently pondered to myself.
*flashing images of smashed elk on my car*

Then out of nowhere, some inconsiderate moron left a huge rolled carpet in the middle of the highway, completely blocking my lane. I was left with no choice but to pull a nascar evasive maneuver. What would you have done? It was life or death...I mean, my car would have flipped for sure. It's a good thing that somebody has fast reflexes...

I swerved, I screeched....there were screams...there were interrupted slumbers...there were dirty looks.
Jeannie: "Holy crap! Did you see that carpet?"
Jason: "What are you talking about? PULL OVER NOW. You're done driving."
Jeannie: "But did you see it? But..?.....sorry"

Yeah, I was so tired from staying up all night that I had proceeded to fall asleep at the wheel and hallucinated for the first time. Don't worry, I looked it up and everything. It can happen with extreme exhaustion. I don't need anti-hallucinogenic drugs or anything...despite what Jason's family may think...

And despite what you may think...I'm feeling good. I have my best friend Boris gazing into my eyes and life is beautiful.Not to mention, my sister emailed me this image today...

TITLE: "It is cool to dress up as your name-sake"

Shill Family Halloween Circa 1996

This left me laughing and feeling rejuvenated... especially when I noticed my sissy peeking around the astro van seat in the background. Yeah, this picture is just not cute. Sorry mom...

As I mentioned before, life is quite good. Sometimes I feel like I am barely surviving in the world, and that sounds like it wouldn't be fun...but it is. It keeps my life interesting, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I love everything about my life at this moment. I love my line of work. I love taking care of my patients(for the most part), and learning something new at my job every day. NEVER BORED.

There is something to be said about having someone look you in the eyes during a stressful time, and hearing them say, "I trust you." I'm not sure that anyone has ever said that to me in such a way, as it was said to me last night.

My patient was confused and didn't know where she was. Finally, after I sat down with her for several minutes, explaining, and re-explaining...she finally stopped the interrogation and softly said, "I trust you."

This has caused me to be deep in thought all day today. I've been thinking:

How difficult would it be to obtain an injury... be sent to a hospital...not know where you are, or who anyone is. Then I began to think, it takes a great person to be able to say, "I trust you."

I have a difficult time trusting anyone. I am always taking things into my own hands and attempting to run a one-woman-show. To have someone express, "I trust you," and really mean it, has left me wanting to trust others more.

People always speak about trustworthiness. Trust is easily lost and nearly impossible to earn back. Why is that? I am definitely guilty of this mind-set, and now I am re-thinking my judgment. I think it stems from fear. Fear, that if you trust, you will be let down after doing so.

I personally believe that we need to have more faith in one another and get to a place where we don't need to know everything. A place where we can simply say, "I trust you."

Goal for tomorrow: Trust in order to be trusted.

20 comments:

Jade Little said...

I am the same way. I never trust anyone and always think someone is trying to screw me over. I have the hardest time having somebody help me also. I always say that if I want something done right ill have to do it myself. I definately need to trust more! Thanks for your post!!

Jade Little said...

I am the same way. I never trust anyone and always think someone is trying to screw me over. I have the hardest time having somebody help me also. I always say that if I want something done right ill have to do it myself. I definately need to trust more! Thanks for your post!!

Whitney said...

OH my gosh. Stop hallucinating big carpets in the middle of the road!

Monica said...

YOU ARE HILARIOUS WOMAN!! The carpet thing cracks me up!! I have a problem with hallucinating at night, after I have fallen asleep. It's BAD sometimes, and I talk and wake Matt up and he FREAKS OUT!!:( ha Maybe it's the late caffeine or tv shows.. I dunno. I would trust you if you were my Nurse. (I wish you could have been my nurse.) Even though you just started, I bet you are better than half of them out there!!! I hope you get some rest and RELAX!! You deserve it you HARDWORKING NURSE YOU!!! :) XOXO

Lindsay Nichole said...

Haha that Jeannie costume is killer! I love it! Also, if I woke up and didn't know where I was and what happened, I would want you as my nurse :) I would trust you too! Also, when both of us aren't working sometime, we should do dinner or lunch. Please?

Josh and Elisha Sandberg said...

I would definitely trust you to be my nurse, you are so competent and smart...oh and you look like a million bucks too! You will still see me even though I making the move to Queen Creek. We totally need to do another night out like we did for Monski's birthday because that was so fun to be with you and the girls.

Candi said...

As usual you make me laugh and then cry! Oh Jeannie, your post I love to read. I very sorry for your hallucination, although I shouldn't laugh, I cant help it. Get some sleep women, or just keep telling us your funny stories :)

Now trust, I am the same way, trusting other people is extremely hard, I can tell you I probably trust about umh, two people, sad I know. But what you said has got me thinking "Fear, that if you trust, you will be let down after doing so." It is true, I think that is the problem with some many people like me. I don't want to be let down, it hurts so much, so I try to run the show by myself.

Thanks for deep part about trust, it has made me open up my mind about it.
Sorry this comment is so long, but truly it is your fault, hee hee

Jami said...

Ah, hallucinating...if only we had more time, I could tell you about all the "noises", and weird things I see at night time. Spencer hates it, b/c I make him go and "check" the house almost nightly now days! Well...he should be thankful, b/c while I was prego it was like three times a night!
We drove from Idaho to mesa in one night as well...also, b/c I was hallucinating and wouldn't stay in the hotel room that Spencer already paid for. I had a bad feeling..OK! But it was NOT a good idea...and I probally will never do it again.
AND, good luck with the trust thing!

Emily Lauren said...

You are so funny. I seriously crack up every time I read your blog. ha ha.

I know, working with patients with TBI did the same thing for me- definitely helped me to put things into perspective. That's so neat that the lady said that to you. What a rewarding field you're in.

Tara said...

Jeannie- I've read your posts for awhile but had to comment today! It's tara jaicks btw, been foreverrrr. Your post meant alot to me at this point in my life and I thought you should know it. Every word you write is so meaningful and it's great to hear your insight. I'm not here to get sappy so, just wanted to say hi and keep up the inspirational posts :) Glad you're doing so well!

*Becky* said...

The call light picture was great! It made me laugh. 6 12's in a row. You are crazy girl. I totally know what you mean how hard it is to trust someone. It's probably hard because humanity has gone down hill. People are rude, they only care about themselves and are inconsiderate.
I do need to trust more as well. But I also think we have been given the act of judgement because we need it to survive as well. But we should give people a chance before deciding that we don't trust them. (Again- it's the judgement thing we've been given)

Anyway, glad you had that experience the other night about your pt trusting you.

Chris, Mom,and Grandma said...

Isn't it nice to know that there is one person that we can always trust.... And i'm glad I have him to lean on.... Glad you are liking your work, I've done the same thing driving with Boyd except he was the one driving and I was the one hallucinating... we were driving into Greer and it was late and I said would you look at that big dog in the road slow down and he said "Chris it's not a dog it's a Bear.. hello then i was awake the rest of the time...! love your posts...

The B Team said...

Tara! I would have gone to your blog to respond to you, but it looks like you don't have one. It has been forever. I'm so glad you commented! It'll be fun to keep in touch:)

Hannah Billy Avree and Nixyn said...

Jeanie your hilarious. You really need to be a writer. I love the Halloween costume. Sweet! I have the same issue's with trust. Thanks for your story, I'm going to work on it. And you go girl!! 6 12's!! Your A-MAZ-ING

Krystal Arnett said...

Girl, I'm glad I wasn't in the car with you when you saw that magic carpet. That Haloween picture...priceless. Bahaha

Aleisha said...

quite possibly the best blog post ive ever read.

The B Team said...

Aleisha! It's been forever. You, Karen, Tara, and I need a reunion! P.S. feel free to invite me to your blog! shillybean65@hotmail.com ....cuz I'd love it:)

Ericka Johnson said...

The phantom carpet thing is awful! Scary. Thank goodness for dogs--they make everything better!

Tara said...

I know, I really should get one.. Jenny started a blog for me over a year ago I think, and I never did anything with it. Def keep in touch! I live in nyc but Im home alot, so I'd love to see ya! xoxo

The earlier limn gets the worm said...

Two words for you shake'n Blake-update much???? I mean it sounds like life is busy for y'all!! However blogs are such an important part of communication in this day and age,especially with the crazy economy!!! Hi my name is Earlier and I am a blogaholic!!! Keep it goin girl!!!-Earlier