for the record

Looking back

2010-01-12T13:23:00.000-08:00

When I recently turned 24, the strangest feeling came upon me. I am an adult. I work full time in a real job, I'm married, most of my friends have kids, I own a home, I own a car, I go on vacations independently and so on. Then this month came, January 2010, holy crap. Where have the years gone? First of all, 2010...seriously? I remember in 2nd grade writing a paper that was titled, "Myself in 2010." The assignment was to predict where we would be and what we would be doing etc. I don't know where it is, but I remember thinking that I would be a movie star or working in an ice cream parlor of sorts.

On January 5, 2010 it was our 4th wedding anniversary. Jason and I have been together for 5 years total. Insane. It doesn't feel like it's been that long...at all.

I don't know what my deal is lately, but I have been reflecting on my life and what I want to do next. It's on my mind all of the time. I am at the point where I'm asking myself, "kids? grad school? kids? nothing? travel?...Jason, what am I gonna do with my life?" I feel like I am in a hamster wheel.

Today, I had something cross my mind...I think I am going to be finished with planning my life. It has done me little good in the past and things have worked out. For instance, I never planned on getting married at 20 years old. I never planned on becoming a nurse. I never planned on riding dirt bikes for fun. And I certainly never planned on actually enjoying "The View" and looking forward to "20/20" on Friday nights...but I do and I enjoy it. Life has taken me for a ride and I am in love with where I am at. Not saying I'm done with goal setting, just done with planning.

I am content and comfortable with who I am and who I am with.

Probably because Jason is such a gem...

Jason,

We've been together for 5 years!

I remember our wedding day, and how I knew without a doubt that you were the love of my life. However, a lifetime was not enough, so we were married for time and all eternity.

Our first trip as a married couple. We were both in college full time and working full time, so we went on a quick trip to Mexico and called it a "honeymoon." I'm still waiting for my real one...

We adopted our first puppy together and named him Boris. He is our baby, and he is snuggling with me on the couch as I type this. You initially thought that he was going to be a tough little guard dog...so much for that. We were so excited.

You have been obsessed with baseball and The White Sox for just about your entire life. So, we finally went to your first Sox game together, and you were glowing. It was so fun being there with you...even though one side of my body got sun-burned. Remember? I looked like two-face from batman...I think that is his name. You got to see your favorite player, Frank Thomas, and we sat next to that cute little girl and her Dad. It was her first White Sox game too. It was then, that you started looking forward to taking your own kids to baseball games...

Later that year, it snowed in Mesa for the first time in my entire life! I woke you up from a deep sleep and we drove to Higley Rd in order to play in the snow. You were and still are such a good sport. We took a picture with this palm tree, because we thought it was awesome. Snow on a palm tree? I have to admit, it still makes me a bit excited.
This was only the first year of being married. Little did I know, how happy I would be years down the road. Life hasn't been perfect, but of course it hasn't. I look back on my life with you and smile. You are my best friend and I love you. Cheers to 4 years of marriage!

Having a rough day? Watch this...

2009-08-26T16:42:00.000-07:00

I would update you on what's going on in my life, but that would be a lie...because...I have been doing nothing. That's right you heard me. My house is a mess, I'm a mess, and my t.v. remote battery is almost dead.

I may have graduated from college, but I am still very much living the student lifestyle. I have been sitting on my couch all day, eating Panda Express and watching a Jaws marathon. I've watched 1, 2, 3, and JAWS: The Revenge is almost over. It's definitely a bad thing, when the deepest thought I have had all day is, "Why in sam hell don't the Brody's move away from the beach, I mean REALLY."

I think another reason why I still feel like a student is because I am married to one. Jason is still at ASU and we had dunch at the chuck box the other day for hamburgers. I never thought that I would look around,see freshman, and feel so much older than them. It's weird.

I plan on getting a life sooner than later, and when I do, I will post about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I love being lazy, I just know it's gotta change.

BTW, was the video I shared with y'all not the jam? Where has it been all my life? Also, hope you didn't watch the entire thing, it's really only good through the "send me an angel" section.

If I were to lie to you about being productive I would say something like:

I'm working full time and just about to finish up "War and Peace." It's quite good, so good in fact that I decided to give away my television set...we hardly use it anyway and it was only collecting dust. Lets face it, I don't know how to work the remote...too high tech for me. And, what is this DVR people are talking about? What a waste of time huh? I spend most of my free moments reading the bible and doing service for others. I am also training for a marathon and in the best shape of my life...oh, and I decided to become a vegetarian. I only eat organic foods and cook all of my meals. I would not be caught dead in a drive through. Jason and I walk Boris every single night and enjoy picnics in the park on our days off. I never go to my parents' to steal food and/or avoid cooking my own meals. I LOVE being a homemaker, and dare I admit that I bake the best pies on my block. I also wash my hair every day and don't rely on excedrin and pepsi to keep me alert and oriented. Life is a breeze so come fly a kite with me and Jason.

Psych Consult STAT

2009-08-05T22:35:00.000-07:00

WARNING: After working six, twelve-hour night shifts in a row, you may experience swollen kankles, nausea, donut binging, and hallucinations.

The featured photo was taken for the single purpose of documentation for my much needed psych consult.

So, get this...

I am sitting on my couch...exhausted....when all of a sudden I see a call light and jump up like someone lit a fire under my cheeks.

Hold....up...this isn't a hospital. I think I just hallucinated.

*See glare on upper right mirror for details*

I'd like to say "this is the first time...." but it's not. Two summers ago, Jason and I drove up to Idaho with his family...through the night...yeah... I didn't think it was a good idea either. Winding roads can start to feel like you are in a cradle after a while...

So I'm cruising along in my Saturn Ion, when all of a sudden I see approximately five giant elk on the side of the road. "Hallelujer, at least they aren't in the road..." I silently pondered to myself.

*flashing images of smashed elk on my car*

Then out of nowhere, some inconsiderate moron left a huge rolled carpet in the middle of the highway, completely blocking my lane. I was left with no choice but to pull a nascar evasive maneuver. What would you have done? It was life or death...I mean, my car would have flipped for sure. It's a good thing that somebody has fast reflexes...

I swerved, I screeched....there were screams...there were interrupted slumbers...there were dirty looks.

Jeannie: "Holy crap! Did you see that carpet?"

Jason: "What are you talking about? PULL OVER NOW. You're done driving."

Jeannie: "But did you see it? But..?.....sorry"

Yeah, I was so tired from staying up all night that I had proceeded to fall asleep at the wheel and hallucinated for the first time. Don't worry, I looked it up and everything. It can happen with extreme exhaustion. I don't need anti-hallucinogenic drugs or anything...despite what Jason's family may think...

And despite what you may think...I'm feeling good. I have my best friend Boris gazing into my eyes and life is beautiful.Not to mention, my sister emailed me this image today...

TITLE: "It is cool to dress up as your name-sake"

Shill Family Halloween Circa 1996

This left me laughing and feeling rejuvenated... especially when I noticed my sissy peeking around the astro van seat in the background. Yeah, this picture is just not cute. Sorry mom...

As I mentioned before, life is quite good. Sometimes I feel like I am barely surviving in the world, and that sounds like it wouldn't be fun...but it is. It keeps my life interesting, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I love everything about my life at this moment. I love my line of work. I love taking care of my patients(for the most part), and learning something new at my job every day. NEVER BORED.

There is something to be said about having someone look you in the eyes during a stressful time, and hearing them say, "I trust you." I'm not sure that anyone has ever said that to me in such a way, as it was said to me last night.

My patient was confused and didn't know where she was. Finally, after I sat down with her for several minutes, explaining, and re-explaining...she finally stopped the interrogation and softly said, "I trust you."

This has caused me to be deep in thought all day today. I've been thinking:

How difficult would it be to obtain an injury... be sent to a hospital...not know where you are, or who anyone is. Then I began to think, it takes a great person to be able to say, "I trust you."

I have a difficult time trusting anyone. I am always taking things into my own hands and attempting to run a one-woman-show. To have someone express, "I trust you," and really mean it, has left me wanting to trust others more.

People always speak about trustworthiness. Trust is easily lost and nearly impossible to earn back. Why is that? I am definitely guilty of this mind-set, and now I am re-thinking my judgment. I think it stems from fear. Fear, that if you trust, you will be let down after doing so.

I personally believe that we need to have more faith in one another and get to a place where we don't need to know everything. A place where we can simply say, "I trust you."

Goal for tomorrow: Trust in order to be trusted.

My Chicken Soup

2009-07-19T00:28:00.000-07:00

Movies and books have always been my escape from the world. They bring me comfort and make me feel better when I'm feeling rough around the edges. Somehow, when watching or reading something, I feel less alone and more understood.

It's been wonderful to have strong examples in my real world...

And it's also been wonderful to have strong examples in my fantasy world...

What I'm trying to say is...

I'm grateful for those deep emotions that you never knew you could feel. ..I'm talking about magic. The kind of magic a select few other than Disney can bring. Isn't it amazing how the word "magic" needs no definition? When you have felt it, you have defined it. Going to Disneyland...MAGIC. Meeting the man of your dreams...MAGIC. Being able to say, "I never thought of it that way"...MAGIC. It doesn't matter how you manage to feel it, just as long as you find what's magical to you.

I am glad...

for my life, and divine exhaustion.There is something about good old fashioned hard work that makes me feel better having done it. I may be a complainer most of the time, but I can truly say that I am happy in my life. This is not because extraordinary things have happened to me. I am very ordinary and much like everyone else. I believe that much of my day to day happiness comes from the little things that I find magical and allow myself to experience on a regular basis.

These experiences have allowed me to grow and understand...

So, I'd like to take this time and say "thank you" to the small experiences, the ones that never get any acknowledgement.

This post is for my neglected influences

Dearest sleeping beauty, you always gave my Barbies a good song to waltz to. Thanks to you, my parents walked in on me singing, "I know you, I walked with you once UH-PINE a dream" and I've been brutally mocked ever since.

Thank you Cinderella, for teaching me how to clean...my mom never did. I also appreciate the scheme of leaving one of your possessions at a boys house, only for him to return it the next day. Came.IN.Handy.
Thank you Alice in Wonderland, for making me realize that I'm not the only one who feels lost and confused most of the time. I too give myself good advice, but very seldom follow it.

Thank you to Esther in Meet Me In St. Louis. You are, he-hem, were...my idol. Oh, and this movie is so good that it should have been by Disney. I wanted to have parties like you when I got older. Unfortunately, people in high school don't play instruments and dance around to "skip to my lou" anymore. Bummer.

Thank you Mary Poppins, for making umbrellas in Arizona so much more useful. As for cough syrup...dirty trick...tastes like crap. And although my chalk drawings never gave me anything better than a scraped knee when jumped into...I forgive. P.S. don't ever sweep a chimney, your mom WILL yell at you.

Thank you Wendy, for teaching me how to be a good big sister. As for you Nana, you are the jam. What kind of dog supplies goods on her back...uh-mazing. I appreciate a good happy thought every now and again as well. Also, don't worry, I never smile at a crocodile...they be freaky.Last but not least, thank you Pete's Dragon, for making me go "WTF" at such a young age.

Yikes...

I'm gonna go ahead and declare that picking your favorite child is an easier attempt than picking your favorite Disney movie. There are too many great ones.

P.S. my playlist right now is breathtaking...check it out. It will take you back...

*All images found via Google*

Holiday Road

2009-07-07T10:47:00.001-07:00

Well, my friends, I hope that y'all had a fine Independence Day this year. When I think about the 4th of July, I think back to four years ago, picking up Jason at the airport in Honolulu. He came to visit me there and he was received with open arms and fireworks in the background. Little did I know that I would be getting proposed to a few short days later. I am always amazed with life and the twists and turns it has in store. I think about small decisions I have made, and the extreme influences they have had on my life. Some of those decisions I am grateful for, and other decisions I have chosen to learn from and never make again. I think about the influence of others and the impact they have had on my life. It makes me realize that details matter, and by picking up on them, it can change everything. There are so many different routes to choose from and I often find myself spending the majority of my time contemplating all of them. The one thing that brings me peace is the belief in a much higher power than my own. I have to believe that it has been by some sort of design; that there is someone watching out for all of us. Today is truly preparing us for tomorrow.

America, I love you! You've given me a wonderful life.

With that said...

This 4th of July was unexpected and fun, fun, fun. Jason and I weren't planning on going anywhere this year, but at the last minute, we decided to meet my family in So. Cal. for the weekend. There was never a dull moment, and it was great to get away. I feel like I have been working nonstop; probably because when I'm not there, it is always on my mind. I mean, I dream about being at work. It sucks. Does anybody else have that problem?

Jason and I had a grand ol' time driving to the beach. We sang at the top of our lungs and pretended that we were Tim and Faith with no shame at all. The funny/annoying thing about my man is that he changes his voice completely depending on who is singing the song. For instance, when he's singing Tim McGraw, he has a southern twang and tries to sound as much like Tim as possible. When we are in church, he enunciates everything like he is in The Phoenix Boys Choir. When Blink 182 comes on, he sings nasally and thinks that he is a punk. I don't even know. Other people just sing like themselves. Moral of the story, anything with music, Jason, and singing involved is a trip in and of itself. Don't ever do it unless you are fully prepared.

Once we got to the beach, my lover was in a sulky kind of mood, but I managed to perk him right up. Does this not remind you of a little kid? Sometimes I don't know if I adopted a husband or married one...

As the great Johnny Tsunami said, "Go big or go home." Most meaningful quote of all time and you better recognize that we stand by it...especially on vacation.
Oh, and just because we are on holiday doesn't mean that we don't know how to DO WORK! What's a trip to the beach without burying someone? I mean REAlly.
Behold, the finished product. Don't you love how we made him a right arm amputee with mitten hands? He also has one leg shorter than the other.

Also, is smoosh-ball an Olympic sport? 'Cause it should be. Oh, you don't know what smoosh-ball is? I'm sorry, people in my high society play it constantly... it consists of one small blue ball, two wooden paddles, and two highly trained athletes. My sister Olivia and I got up to 17 hits without dropping the ball. I played so long that my bones solidified into the shape of a claw...as evidenced by my left hand in this photo. Maybe that's not even my left hand, it looks like some sort of sea urchin from Davey Jones' Locker. I don't know, you be the judge.
No trip to the beach is complete without surfing. Kind of embarrassing because they gave me the notorious foam board from Costco...whatever. Wish I had a picture of it, but I only have one of Jason. Allow me to recreate the moment for you. Jason picked up this cute little surf board, and puts on a wetsuit, cuz the water is FREEZING. I am left with a big a$$ foam surf board that my arms can't even fully extend around to pick up correctly. So, I had to squeeze it against my body with my palms spread...add a gust of wind to the mix, a shackle around my ankle and a partially intact bikini only. Congratulations, now you have the full picture. Enough said.
Did I mention that I wore SPF 50 all day? Oh, and did I mention that I got the worst sunburn of my entire life? Jason did too. We are such brats, we kept arguing about who had the higher degree burn. However, it didn't matter how bad mine was because Jason got all of the sympathy from my grandma and then some; you better know that he milked it. Looking at the following picture is bitter-sweet...we were so innocent. We had no idea what was to come... little did I know that I would spend the night bathing in aloe-vera and slip into a coma. Nobody even checked to see if I was responsive! I missed the fireworks! REALLY PEOPLE?!?
The burns were worth it! Thanks Grandma and Grandpa! We had so much fun.

All the girls, minus Olivia...she was M.I.A. Probably seagull hunting again... Can't keep that one put I tell ya. I look like a raspberry in this picture. I was in so much pain and the color got more vibrant as the day progressed.

I've got an itch

2009-05-24T13:08:00.000-07:00

What's with my new job? I don't know what else to tell you aside from this: It pleases me. I am not nearly as worn down after working a shift on this floor. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy by any means. I have a lot to learn and it's real work, but I feel happier. I'm nicer to Jason and I've even been a little too nice to myself lately...gaw. I need to stop rewarding myself with processed desserts...it's a problem. I mean, don't hate, but I eat zebra cakes and honey buns like there is no tomorrow. I eat 'til I'm tired, or sick, whichever comes first. Oh YES, and just so you know, your metabolism comes to an abrupt hault when you turn 23. I didn't believe it, but it's true. If it gets worse, feel free to keep it to yourself. For some strange reason, when people tell me, "It could be worse," I don't feel any better. Really? It will likely get worse than this? Now I feel splendid, just splendid. I'm just glad that I don't get the "cold sweats" before going to work anymore. I look like I've been through something in this picture. Although you may be thinking otherwise, I am totally rational, calm, and collected...yeah. I don't know what people are talking about, I've got it all together. Just ask Boris.

All things considered life is good in "the neighborhood." I've finally come to terms with Kris winning American Idol, and I am okay. Well almost...okay, I lied. Sorry, he just isn't that good {fist in mouth}. How many more Jason Mraz wannabes can the world take on? Seriously. Adam is the bomb, and I wanted him and Allison in the finale. America, I thought I knew you. Whatever.For those of you who witnessed the show-down...KISS scares me. No lie. I keep watching it on my DVR and it freaks me out. Gene Simmons' tongue and the way he bobs his head makes me go into the fetal position. Freaky...but I can't stop watching.
Also...I'VE GOT AN ITCH! The travel bug bit me and I really want to plan an awesome vacation. I mean, I want to spend a ridiculous amount of my hard earned cash on a cruise to Scotland, Ireland, England, and Paris. I found one for next August 2010 baby! Is it stupid to go? I was just thinking about it and when I'm old and prune-like someday, looking back on my life...what will I remember? I'm not gonna give a flying rats about what car I drove when I was 23, but I will remember an awesome trip with Jason.

Speaking of my lover, he is obsessed with bag pipes, so I know he would love to see Scotland. "I want my baby back baby back baby back...ribs." Yeah, I sang it..."barbecue sauce." Stop kidding yourself, you love it and you always have. "Chile's baby back ribs." Okay I'll stop. "Chile's baby back ribs." Sorry, I lied.

I think Ireland will be awesome too, but leprechauns scare me. I mean, have you seen this movie? "I want me gold! Hehehehaha." Hopefully we can make it happen and hopefully I don't get attacked by a fat bastard or mini leprechaun.

*images on this blog were found via google*

"For garsh sakes"

2009-05-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

When Jason decided to steal a kid's jacket at church, it made me laugh to the point of a stomach ache and almost caused an episode of incontinence. My stomach muscles were sore, and it hurt pretty bad... It almost hurt as bad as the time I consumed an entire jar of home-made cookies in less than 1 hour flat. It's a sickness for sure. Which reminds me...when I taught English in China several years ago, we would go to Walmart to stock up on some "normal" food for the following week. One occurence in particular, I decided to buy six snicker bars to last me about two weeks. Needless to say, I got carried away emailing all of my family/friends one Sunday afternoon and devoured all six in a row while sitting at the computer. This hurt more than ever, and snickers have never been the same for me. I mean, who does that? Seriously. I really have such a fat personality. Now I DO NOT eat and play on the computer at the same time. BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN... as evidenced by this empty cookie jar...heh hem.

Although I have been hurt by many things in my life, including friends, family, food, falls, failures, etc. Nothing really hurts the way of losing someone you love dearly. My Grandma Shill passed away a little over one week ago. I was very fortunate to have grown up in the same home as Grandma, and she played a big role in my life. She was a part of our Christmas mornings, birthdays, movie watching, book reviews, meal planning and family vacations. I always thought that we were taking care of Grandma, but now that she is gone, I realize that she was really taking care of all of us. I am grateful for the time I had with her and for all of the memories that have accumulated over the years.

I already miss her love for me and all of my brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles. She loved her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and even great great grandchildren. It's been hard, because I know that nobody loved me like Grandma Shill loved me, and now she is gone. I know she loved us by the way she would hold us tight and listen to everything and anything we wanted to say. She sincerely appreciated us for the way we were.

She was a supportive wife, and never stopped loving my Grandpa. She would always tell me, "I hope that you and Jason can be as happy as Bob and I were." She taught me what mattered in life, something that is easy to forget in these modern days. She would say, "Nothing is ever really yours." Think about it; the material things you own or possess can be taken away from you. You can lose people, love, consistency, comfort and human rights. Appreciate the things that you do have, for the time that you have them. We should focus on the things that are of true value in life and fail to dwell on the rest. I'm still working on this one...
She was SO FUNNY. Grandma was sharp and had a quick wit. I especially loved watching her and my dad interact with one another. I already miss that. She was a wonderful story teller and 100% herself. We were all drawn to her.

I love it when the elderly folks tell me that I look like she did when she was younger...

One time I said, "Grandma, ya know some people think that I look like you did in your younger days. If that's true, then I am definitely a shorter, stockier version, with a much smaller bra size."

Grandma replied with, "I'm afraid so dear..."

"Thanks."

I love you Grandma, and miss you already.

It's been one of those zip-a-dee-doo-dah days...

2009-04-20T21:56:00.000-07:00

You know when you open your mouth to speak and a song suddenly comes out instead? My friends, that is what a zip-a-dee-doo-dah day is. Moving on.... I'm sorry for getting ahead of myself. Lets start at the beginning, shall we? So, I did get a job and I am absolutely relieved. I will be working on an orthopaedic floor at Good Samaritan Hospital in Downtown Phoenix. I worked there as an extern last year, so I know that they have awesome nurses and great management on that floor. Halelujer! I hate to blow passed that, because it is a huge deal for me, but I just had the best weekend ever...

WE WENT TO DISNEYLAND! hooo hooo chicka chicka! It was so much fun. Jason and I sort of planned it at the last minute. And when I say "Jason and I," I mean me. Sometimes you just gotta go with your instincts. I woke up one day and thought, "I want to go visit the happiest place on earth." So, we did. What is my favorite ride? Oh, I thought you would never ask. SPLASH MOUNTAIN! Without a doubt, as evidenced by all of these photos.

"I WANT YOU!"-Jeannie

The next photo is a failure, but I'm all about the reality, so I posted it. SHAMEFUL is what I will name this one. Jason is doing the oh so original "thinker" and I'm doing the "Titanic Scene." You probably haven't seen these poses before...so....
That's right mother truckers! We got swagger...
I think my hands look like Jim Carrey's version of "The Grinch." You know how is hands hyper-extend?Did I ever tell you that my Jason is an artist? This picture has life meaning that only we could appreciate. If you haven't seen the skit on SNL called "Gilly" then you should go to http://www.hulu.com/ and type in SNL Gilly. It will explain my pose...

Yeah, we are every disneylander's worst nightmare. I wonder how many family portrait's we ruined that day... I mean, really. For instance, the last photo presented...it was that little girl's first time at Disneyland. You know they purchased a copy. I half-way feel bad, because splash mountain is my happy thought and I will sacrifice that for no one, NO ONE! My dream is to have a backstage pass to this ride. There are so many nooks and crannies that I want to explore. Magical.

I realized that I wasn't on vacation anymore when I drove Jason's truck to Phoenix this afternoon. My tire blew out. I sat on the freeway for like an hour before I was helped. I even broke into the "ugly cry." There is a normal, sweet cry, and then there is the "ugly cry." This consists of a yelling cry with moaning and sniffling along with sporadic choppy gasps. You understand. Jason was awesome, and came to help me because of course "THIS WAS HIS FAULT!" I mean, he was supposed to know this would happen, right? I even hate me sometimes...grievous. He took my ranting and raving like a champ as usual.

Pedaling forward, I went to Fresh and Easy after running an errand in Phoenix when I did the unthinkable. I blew a flippy-floppy. I was graceful as could be, walking down the cheese isle(my favorite isle), when I took a drastic scissor like stumble. I nearly did the splits when my flip flop broke. The front foot went forward at rocket speed and I heard a screech and a stub. It was ugly. So I had to walk like a gimp out of the grocery store like a fool.

I texted Jason, "I am convinced that it is just one of those days that I need to lock myself in the house and give the blinds an occasional flicker in order to view the outside world. I just broke my shoe and almost fell down at Fresh and Easy."

Jason texted back, "don't worry, having more than two blow outs in one day is highly unlikely." He is so wise, and always knows how to make me feel better.

Happy Birthday, bla Bla BLAH

2009-04-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

INTRO:

This last week has been ever so fun-filled. It was my mother in law's birthday, then my sissy Olivia's, then my dad's...all in a row! For some reason it is always a huge shocker to me every year. I'm really bad with dates, so at the beginning of the month, Jason will usually say something like, "Oh, it's my mom's birthday this month." Every year, I react with something along the lines of, "Crap, it's March already? Okay, so what do you want to get her...oh, that means it's my Dad's birthday, oh and Olivia's birthday...Jason, I'm freaking out." Yeah, my mister and I are going on five years of being together and each year the birthday trio is still like a surprise. I just have too much nothingness going on in my brain that I forget dates...whatever, that's my excuse anyway. So, I apologize ahead of time for misplacing your birthday in my head or forgetting important things.

One of my New Year's resolutions was to celebrate more. That may seem so easy for most people, but I always have "important" things on the brain and it is difficult for me to just chill. I know, don't I sound fun? I may look like I am zoning out or day dreaming into space, but I'm actually thinking about important stuff people! Anyway, so that is why I decided to celebrate more, life should be more fun.... Here is my baby and me out on the town, approaching my parents home. I look butt ugly in this picture, but this is the reality.

So, after I dropped Boris off at my parent's house, we were on our way to TED'S Hot Dogs in Tempe. I am a hot dog lover, don't judge me, I think they are amazing. I love a good "Chicago Style" dog on any day of the week. I mean, what's not to like, an entire pickle slice! Also, I may not be able to identify objects and shapes, especially from a "bird's eye view," but I do know one thing... if it's named "Ted's," it is good. I don't make the rules, I just call 'em like I see 'em, you understand...
Then, it was party time baby! The siblings and myself always make fun of Dad because of the way he eats. His eyes get huge and he holds his silverware with a fist and sort of shovels it in. We are all gifted and have the simulation down to an art form.

Even though it was Dad's special day, we made sure to make time for some solid sisterly love....Just don't look away, I will pitch fork you. ...Or flick cake in your face.
For me personally, I thoroughly enjoyed singing "Happy Birthday" to my little bro. When he was little, no matter whose birthday it was, he would pitch a fit until he got to blow out his own candles. So, because my brother is Mom's favorite, she would make him his own cupcake for anyone's birthday party. Then we would have to sing to him and let him blow out the candle. WTF Mom...anyway, here's to old time sake...ugh.Cheers to celebrating more often, the entire year long!

Life for now...

2009-03-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

Life is kind of in the gutter, but I am optimistic about the future...I mean, at least I have a husband who acts like this. It is distracting, which has proven to be quite helpful as of lately. My Grandma Shill had a heart attack a couple of weeks ago and is now under the care of Hospice at one of their facilities. This has been a very trying time for my family because we love her very much and want to keep her around:) Even though we have her with us for now, I can't help but think of the things I will miss about Grandma. I am going to miss her "Death Grip," she had a difficult time letting go of us kids when we went to hug her. I am going to miss walking into her room to say a quick "hello" and finding her sitting in her chair, reading, and watching the birds out of her window. I'm going to miss being able to ask her about flowers, any flower, and having her know everything and anything about it. I'm going to miss her nonjudgmental way and goodness. I have always been one to hold a grudge, not proud of it... I blame my mom. I inherited that trait from her. Anywho, my Grandma Shill is so forgiving of others and NEVER holds a grudge. I'm glad that I have had the opportunity to learn from someone like her and I still hope that she will get to come home soon...

*INTERMISSION*

Before Grandma began to be cared for by Hospice, she was in the ICU for over a week. I went to visit her along with the rest of my family/extended family regularly. While I was there, I was reminded why I wanted to be a nurse in the first place. Although I was sad to be there under those circumstances, I realized that my current job was not right for me. Needless to say, I felt that I needed to quit. So I did... I am unemployed....there I said it. UNEMPLOYED! Am I crazy? Maybe, because jobs are hard to come by, especially for a new grad like myself. However, I went with my gut on this one. Sometimes you just know when something is wrong for you and life has a weird way of letting you know. I hope that I will be able to find a supportive environment to work in that is also a good fit for me. I love nursing and want to be working so badly. This was not part of my plan, I wanted to stay at my first nursing job for several years and I am very disappointed with how it turned out. However, you can choose to sulk, or you can choose to learn from the past. I am learning from the past, taking all that I have gained from this experience, and moving forward. Anybody work on a floor where they would be interested in hiring a relatively new graduate? Please let me know. So, back to the job search, I hope that I will find something that will add happiness to my life.

Blessed+Stressed= DISCLAIMER: LONG POST

2009-03-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

Let me begin by saying that I realize how blessed I am. I am grateful for all that I have, however, I am a complainer. Always have been, always will be. I am also a worrier; constantly preparing myself for the worst. This causes me a heap of unnecessary stress in my life. So, after nursing school was over, I thought to myself... "Finally, I am done and I can get paid for all of the work I have been doing! Woohoo." Hmmm, yeah, woohoo.... NURSING IS SO FREAKIN HARD!

Allow me to begin where I left off. I graduated from nursing school, began my training at St. Joe's and registered for my NCLEX. The NCLEX aka state boards is the test that must be passed in order to obtain a license. So, before taking this exam, you have your degree in nursing. After you take this exam, you have your degree in nursing and you are also a Registered Nurse, commonly known as a RN. This exam is the scariest most freaky thing ever and I think it almost gave me a heart attack...literally. Every nurse has their story... this is my NCLEX story:

It all started with my support system...JASON. Poor, poor Jason did not know that when he asked me to marry him, he was in deed asking for sleepless nights of a crazy basket-case wife pouring her stressed out soul to him time and time again. He is such a good sport. He kept telling me, "Jeannie, I know you are going to pass, I don't have a doubt in my mind, I know you."
I seriously have issues, because I had the nerve to reply with, "Oh my gosh Jason, I don't need the added pressure, Ugh!" He was doomed no matter what he said to me. Poor unfortunate soul. I love this guy, and I am so grateful for the relationship we have.
Test time: February 12, 2009 2:00 p.m.

I knew this test time for about a month prior to taking it. I was stressed about it every single second of every day. After all, if I didn't pass it, I was not going to be a Registered Nurse, and basically all of that hard work in school was for nothing....no big deal right? When I woke up the morning of T-Day I felt like I was going to heave. I felt so sick to my stomach from all of the nerves. Everyone told me, "don't study the day of the test, just allow yourself to relax and absorb all that you have learned." Pffff. Yeah right, I had to channel the sick-stress somewhere. So from 4 a.m. to about 1 p.m. I was hitting the books. When I showed up to the testing center, they couldn't have freaked me out more.

Front Desk Lady: "SIGN IN AND PUT ALL OF YOUR BELONGINGS IN THE LOCKER, SPIT OUT YOUR GUM AND SIT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA.....SMILE.... OKAY YOU CAN SMILE NOW"

Me: "I am smiling."

Okay, 1 point front desk lady, 0 points Jeannie. I got the picture above in the mail a few days later...

They offered me ear plugs before taking the exam, and I totally took them up on that offer. However, when I put the plugs in, I could hear my heart pounding, so I had to remove them... it was distracting. FYI The NCLEX is a computer adaptive test. What this means is that you can get asked 75-265 questions; once the computer has figured out the level of difficulty that you can operate, it shuts off. This means, you have no clue how you did. Mine luckily shut off at 75 questions. Pass or Fail, at least it was over.

The next day, I checked online....I PASSED! YES! I even have this cool red name tag to prove it!

Getting ready for my first day after becoming Jeannie Blake, RN. Okay, so I am a little OCD... big deal. Jason found me like this, I don't like wrinkles on my scrubs! Being a RN is very challenging, I feel so inadequate most of the time. To be honest, I'm so scared of this job, but I just try to move forward and carry on the best that I can.

And finally... I was watching "The View" today and Dr. Phil was a guest. I don't really like this Phil character, but apparently I am taking his advice now. He said, you shouldn't bring kids into the world with a job to do. So, like, um, if you are trying to fill some sort of void in your life by having a child, it really isn't the right reason to be having one. I started to feel guilty because Boris, my doggie, takes on a lot of stress from me. I am always sitting by him on the couch and talking to him. I mean, he's a dog, he should be doing dog things. He has gotten me through some tough times. Throughout all of my studying, tests, stress and challenges, this little guy has been by my side absorbing it all. Shout out to dogs everywhere! Okay, so maybe I missed Phil's point...? Whatever, it was the only way I could relate.

I GRADUATED, WOOHOO!

2008-12-19T22:47:00.000-08:00

Where to begin! I had so much fun this week. Since nursing school first began, we all joked around that on the last day of class, we would all jump in the reflection pool and fountain at ASU. Well, only a few of us actually took this seriously. We took our finals with our suits on and beach towels in our "pack packs." It was freezing cold, but I'm a woman of my word, as you can see. Mom and Dad got me a lladro...I had my eye on the nursing one before I even got into the program, so I was pretty excited about it:) We decorated our caps before graduation, that was a blast! I'm usually not all about the arts and crafts movement, but this was really a swell time. Before the actual ceremony we went over to my friends apartment in Downtown Phoenix and had a little get together. I'm going to miss these gals so much I can't even tell ya. It feels great to be finished, but I'm finding myself stressed about nothing. So weird. I think nursing school allowed me to gear my stress towards something, so I was productive. Since I have graduated all I have done is spend a lot of money shopping...for myself. Not good. Anywho, woohoo for me! I'm so excited! Oh, and I'd like to give a shout out to JASON for being so supportive! mmmmmmwaaaaa

HIRED!

2008-11-21T15:42:00.001-08:00

Alright folks, so I got hired! Wooohooo! I didn't exactly use Dwight's strategy, but I think it's a good one. I love Dwight... anywho... Many people assume that because nurses are in such high demand that this horrible economy isn't affecting health care that much. Most people also think that after graduating from nursing school it is really easy to find a job.I used to be one of those people. I'm here to tell you that it just simply isn't true. My graduating class has had the most difficult time finding positions because many of the floors at the hospitals are on "hiring freezes" for new grads. Well anyway, now you know. I was really worried that I would have to settle for something that didn't interest me very much. Those worries are long gone now:) So, I had an interview at St. Joe's for a position on the acute neuro unit. I was really excited about it because it's part of Barrow Neurological Institute, which is internationally known and extremely well ranked. They offered me a position right after my interview and I accepted! I'm so excited and can't wait to work there. It's such a nice unit.

a few things...

2008-11-08T18:04:00.000-08:00

Don't let this picture deceive you; this guy loves me to death...
I just thought I'd give a shout out to my mister tonight. I have been super stressed and worried lately. I am about to graduate from nursing school, so I have been trying to find a new graduate position, do interviews, keep up on my classes, work, and complete my preceptorship at the heart hospital. There is much more going on as well, but it stresses me out to even write about it...so I won't. Jason has really stepped up his game and is currently making dinner tonight, letting me hold the remote control, giving me excedrin and basically everything and anything else that I need right now. It's times like this that I realize how lucky I am.

Now on to the dirt... so Jason is really really funny when he is serious. I mean, it is hard not to laugh at him sometimes. I started taking mental notes of the ridiculous things he says to me and other people. So, I am going to share with you, a few of my personal favorites.

1) Jason recently claimed to have "built our house." Hmmmm, really? I recall him putting doors on the laundry room frame, but that's it. Don't worry, I tried to break it to him gently.
2) Jason decided to label the water in the 'fridge. He labeled his name on the full, cold bottle and mine on the dry, empty bottle. Why? Oh, because I don't refill them when I am finished. Well, I guess he has me there. He thought he was teaching me a lesson; I just drink his now.
3) Jason threatened me... yep. He said that he is going to safety-pin his side of the sheets and blanket to his side of the mattress. This is because I "steal" the blankets every night. Oh, he was dead serious.
4) Jason told me, "you are an electricity waster!" Woa, I guess he's got me there too!
5) Jason is a really smart guy, but like all of us, he slips up every now and then. So, we ate Chinese food the other night. His fortune cookie said, "you will perform superbly." That's great, but Jason said, "Super- Bly." Like, rhyming with "super fly." The boy read the word wrong. So funny. I love pointing out when he is the "dumb" one, because it's usually me.

I'M IT!

2008-10-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

2-7 Random Corky/Weird Facts About Myself

1. I have a phobia of eating the remainders of any type of food. For example, eating the last pickle in the pickle jar...you can just forget it! Or the last mL of soda in the can... not gonna happen. Jason thinks I'm really annoying when it comes to this. He finds me opening new food items when the old one isn't empty yet. We basically have a fridge full of food with one item left in the pack, or just a little left on the bottom. Weird, I know.

2. I have to have my neck covered when I sleep. This was and still is a bad habit formed when "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" came out on tv. I've secretly been freaked out ever since. For some strange reason, I think that I won't be a victim if my neck/head is covered. I know, it doesn't make sense, but I can't sleep unless my neck is covered.

3. I have a huge DVD collection... love to watch movies. So, can someone explain to me why I get so excited when movies are on tv? I already own it, but now that it's on tv it is so much better and I have to watch! It not only takes longer to view while on tv, because of the commercials, but I already own it. Why do I get so excited? Weird. I think it's like a surprise...maybe?

4. This is something that makes me cringe and want to die. When someone accidently rubs my hand and lifts my nails slightly, it drives me crazy! Especially with my toes. It scares me that my nails will get lifted and fall off. I know that this won't happen unless there is a greater force, but still, it triggers the thought of it and freaks me out. Kills me.

5. I'm really weird with textures. My couch right now is like a tan, suede material and I can touch it. It's fine and comfortable. But if my feet rub against it, it induces a cringe, racing heart and chills. I can't do it. I don't know why.

6. I am deathly afraid of consuming expired food. I throw things away at least two days before the expiration date. It scares me. I just think, maybe the person labeling the expiration dates made a mistake. What if they were wrong and it actually goes bad before the predicted date? I think I know where this one came from. My mom used to buy the gallon chocolate milks from the grocery store. As some of you know, my dad is an elementary school teacher. So one day, he scored a lot of free little chocolate milks from the cafeteria. He came home, opened each of the individual cartons and poured them into one of the old gallon containers that used to hold the store bought chocolate milk. Mind you, they all had their own expiration dates... It doesn't take a genius to figure this one out. Yes, I was not aware of what my dad did. I went to the fridge one day, poured me a huge glass of chocolate milk, and chugged away. It was the sickest thing in the world and almost landed me in the hospital. Truly. The date on the container from which I drank read later than the expiration dates from the individual containers my good ol' dad poured in it. The result was sour sour sour sour milk that made me puke in the kitchen sink.
Thanks Dad

I think I need to go on Intervention. Okay, I tag Kami, Rachel, and Liz.

Just what has she been up to you ask? Serious business, that's what

2008-10-06T18:10:00.000-07:00

Where's Waldo?

2008-10-06T18:09:00.000-07:00

It was touch and go for a while...

2008-10-06T18:08:00.000-07:00

My Best Friend

2008-10-06T17:59:00.000-07:00

I know...It's been a while...

2008-10-06T15:21:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry it's been such a long time since my last posting. This is a picture of my friends Julie and Ashley...along with myself on one of our lab days. As you can see, we don't take life too seriously. I swear, I have not laughed so hard in my life as I have in nursing school. I've just been sitting here reminiscing of the times we've all had together and I'm crackin' myself up. It's been such a fun experience and I've met so many amazing people along the way. Graduation and moving on with my life is bitter-sweet because I'm going to miss everyone so much!

It is official

2008-03-02T08:29:00.000-08:00

Hellooo everyone!!! Or to all of those who are still checking this pathetic blog! Jeannie Caroline Blake officially sucks at the blogging world. This is her younger sister Olivia. She offered to pay me to keep up on her blog. She even asked me to keep it our little secret. I'm going to give her a free-be on this one in hopes that this post will be the kick off to her new and improved blogging skills. Plus I don't think she'd ever cough up the cash anyway. I don't know how to make her blog look all jazzed up or anything fancy, but I did figure out how to add pictures. So you guys have proof that Jeannie is in fact still alive. Some of them are a little older but they are the only pictures that are on this computer for right now. Except for this one which I happened to come across... yes that is Jeannie on her 6th (maybe?) birthday stomping her foot, throwing her arms in the air, and seems to be screaming at our mom. Typical... maybe she's upset about that filthy cast she's got on her arm.

She was such a sweet child. Just in case you're concerned, the poor kid in the back left with short blonde hair is not a boy wearing a jean, flowered jacket. It's only me. I know. It's embarrassing. "It was the style"... okay. right mom. (ps shout out to our childhood BFF's! That's Chelsi and Kami in the back.)
The next one is of Jeannie and Jason with my Grandma Shill. This is at my Grandma Sabel's fun surprise birthday party! You can see Jeannie and Jason's child Boris in this picture. He's a high strung min pin who I believe has OCD.

Okay now for a little update. Jeannie is studying non stop I swear. It's quite ridiculous if you ask me. Especially when I'm trying to get her to come watch people dance on the Ellen show and she's too busy reading about human diseases... puhlease! How are we sisters?! She graduates from ASU's nursing program in December! It's so crazy how time flies. We are all excited to see all of her hard work pay off. Jason is still working at SRP and going to school at ASU. Anyway this post is way too long. Here is one last picture of the days when Jeannie wasn't too busy to play with me!

I can't make any promises, but hopefully Jeannie will decide to grace you with her blogging presence in the near future. Until then... buh bye to all!

Law of Attraction

2007-09-24T21:10:00.001-07:00

So, Jason and I went to San Francisco a while back. Somehow, all the freaks of nature in the world gravitate my way. We were watching these dancers and musicians at one of the piers and I'll be darned, some Asian dude starts bustin' out the moves. Luckily we had our camera and hopefully this shows up well on our blog. I realize, some people live their whole lives and never have such an experience! This is a Moment...I am going to share it with you...So tilt your head to the side and enjoy.

who we are

2007-09-18T21:40:00.000-07:00

We are Jeannie and Jason Blake. I (Jeannie) am in ASU's nursing program and Jason is majoring in Biology at ASU. He's hoping to attend Dental school, so lets keep our fingers crossed. Nursing is so much fun! Don't get me wrong, it's a lot of work, but I love it. We got married about a year and a half ago and it's been quite the experience! We've learned so much from one another and are happy together. We have a son named Boris. He's a dog. Yeah, that's as close as we're going to get to having a kid any time soon. We love going on trips when we get the chance and just hanging out together. We're so excited about keeping in touch with friends through this Blog, so don't be strangers!